How Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy works Part 1. Feeling safe in relationships

How we relate

The way we relate to other people has a significant bearing bearing on our health. This is because we all live in a ‘sea of relationships’, and how we position ourselves in relation to other people determines, among other things, how our biochemistry, physiology and psychology expresses.

We’ve all heard how stress is the underlying factor in many chronic health conditions and this is because when the fight/flight/defence theme of the nervous system is persistently triggered, it has a seriously detrimental effect on many of the body’s systems.

Being yourself

Stress creeps upon us, in many insidious ways, and a big one is not feeling safe enough to be yourself. And many of you may be thinking, as you read this - ‘what the hell.. of course I can safely be myself!’ But lets look a little closer.

Attachment theory is a mainstream psychological model for understanding how the way we were parented, determines the way that we relate to others as adults.

In order to keep it brief and to illustrate what I mean, you could bring to mind some people you know personally (or even yourself).

You might know someone who’s a people pleaser, always wanting to help in order to feel good. On the other hand, there are those that are self centred, always fearfully looking out for themselves first. Some people want to be seen as better than those around them and strive to be impressive. While others think they have little worth and always put themselves down. Others still, feel compelled to sacrifice their own happiness in the service of others whilst harbouring a secret bitterness.

All these examples (and there are many many more) of character will define a behaviour and a relationship style to support the unconscious beliefs that emerged from their attachment history.

‘Thats just what i’m like’

The common factor in all of these is that they are all having to ‘do’ some kind of behaviour in order to feel ok – they find it difficult to ‘just be themselves’. Most of us have some version of the above playing out in our lives and the performance becomes so familiar that we don’t even see it any more and we think – ‘there’s no problem here, that’s just what I’m like’.

But the stress of this year after year as we get older, is considerable and the constant drip feed of adrenaline and cortisol via the fight/flight system Makes it very hard to stay well and healthy.

So how might craniosacral therapy help?

How craniosacral therapy helps

The fact that all the behaviours above have a degree of unconscious separation, between the ‘authentic self’ and the parts of us that do the behaviours, means that parts of us are not aware of others, we are not fully integrated or internally well connected.

The word ‘health’ comes from the Greek route meaning ‘whole’.

At it’s heart craniosacral therapy is an integrating experience. This is because part of what we do is to help our clients listen to what is actually happening in the body so that we become familiar with the way we organise ourselves. When we can see the parts, we can choose to connect them up.

Learning how not to abandon ourselves

We help to illuminate unconscious patterns by learning how to get still and pay close attention. When the enquiry is held in care and a context of safety, those old beliefs and patterns of experience tend to emerge from the darkness so that they can be seen and understood in a new context.

This can sometimes be a scary and painful experience, so we never run headlong into pandora’s box. We guide the client to establish ways to self regulate, trust and progressively tolerate feelings of discomfort, like training for a big event.

As we become resilient enough to allow the pain of the past to come into the present and be willingly witnessed and experienced from the perspective of our authentic adult selves, we find that we don’t need to abandon ourselves any more.

In the service of life. healing and health

In the ‘light of awareness’, past experience is ‘digested’ in the present moment and the energy that had been cycling in the unconscious for years can now be redirected in the service of life, healing and health.

Craniosacral therapy is all about the therapeutic relationship, the process of healing is usually difficult and it’s really hard to do alone. Having a trusted relational ‘other’ to lean on, is essential. Having someone with you that holds you in ‘unconditional love’ and will not abandon you to your fears, is a game changing experience for most of us.

If you would like to know more about how Biodynamic craniosacral therapy could help you or someone you know, do get in touch.